My name is Pablo de Souza, I’m 37 years old and consider myself a very lucky person. I was born in a middle-class family in Brazil with enough health, resources and education to live a comfortable life. Even though I lived life in my terms, having a lot of fun and never having any major problems, I feel like at this point there’s something missing.
I could write many paragraphs in a self psychoanalisis session to try and find the reasons for my current restlessness, but I just feel I have the capacity to tailor the rest of my existence on earth in a better way than I’ve done so far.
I have reasonably well paid dance teacher job. I love what I do and my annual income puts me amongst the top 2% better paid people on earth (don’t think I make a lot of money please, you don’t need a lot -in a first world country standard – to be top 1%), but I can’t see myself as a dance teacher at 50. I definitely want to keep dancing, but I don’t want to rely on my body to be earning a living in an industry that values youthfulness and fitness. Hence the need for a career change.
Five years ago I migrated to Australia and I’m about a year away from getting a permanent visa, which would allow me the right to study affordably in this beautiful country. The perspective of going back to uni made me think deeply about my possibilities and I had my mind set in the health industry (my father is a doctor, my mother a nurse and I have a degree in Sports Science) . The problem is that working in healthcare means I’m stuck geographically in 99% of the jobs and I can’t stand the idea of not doing a bunch of traveling before I go to the grave.
Something else that contributed to wanting to become a developer was the possibility of self-teaching. Being a doctor or a nurse require knowledge that you can only learn at uni. There’s an appeal to me in the fact that I can sit my butt on a chair in front of a computer and learn all I need by myself.
Down deep I know that the person I need to become to achieve such thing mostly through self-teaching doesn’t exist yet. But that person is very attractive to me. I want to become that guy: Driven, focused, curious, disciplined and organised. I think these characteristics summon what I need to be to achieve the goal of becoming a programmer.
Right now If I had to give scores from 0 to 5 to myself in each of those attributes I’d say I’m very curious (5), but I’m lacking all of the rest: not disciplined enough (2), not driven enough (2), not focused enough (2), and dismally disorganized (probably a zero).
That’s why I’m calling this blog “Shut up and Code”. I’ve read, researched and talked a lot about the subject since I made the decision to learn to code a few months ago, but I haven’t put the hours in front of a computer doing actual coding. I do value reads that will improve me as a human and to have better knowledge of the big picture, but the fact is that I have to make up for the fact that I’m starting this thing late in life and PUT IN THE HOURS. I have to attack this aggressively or otherwise I will fail. This is beyond anything I’ve ever accomplished in life (by miles) and the person that I am right now can only fail.
Right now this blog is for me only. I do want it to tell a succesful story of a 37 y old that against all odds was able to change himself and change careers and hopefully inspire and help people in the future. But right now I want to use this space to help me clarify my ideas, keep me centered and focus and above all: maintain discipline. I’ve started many blogs and failed to be consistent every single time. This has to change. Now. I’m running out of time. The grave is growing closer.